Is unfair divorce really leading men to deaths of despair?

New data from Denmark suggests not.

Does unfair family court drive men to suicide?

Data from a new study suggests the answer is no.

A new study found that single dads in Denmark have a markedly higher risk of early death from addiction, suicide and lung cancer.

This new information challenges the 50/50 parenting advocates’ assertion that unequal, sexist divorce laws rob men of their children and drive single dads to suicide. Here we see Danish single dads are among the most likely in the world have equal time with their kids and are still dying deaths of despair at rates much higher than that of single moms or married men.¹

Writes journalist Stephanie H. Murray on Family Stuff:

Denmark is an interesting place to study the connection between family structure and parental health because it has the highest share of single parent households in Europe, and one of the lowest rates of single parent poverty among OECD countries.

For clarity, the authors distinguish between partnered parents (who never experienced single parenthood), previously single parents (who were a single parent at one point but have since repartnered), and single parents (who remain single). And by single parent, they mean “one female or male parent living with their child or children under age 18.” So when we say “single dad” or “single mom” here, we’re talking about those who are actually registered as living with their child (or children), not nonresidential fathers or mothers.

The divorce-suicide connection has been on the lips, hearts, pens and minds of those of us interested in separated families and gender equality.

For example, in July, Richard Reeves’s American Institute for Boys and Men published Separation leads to suicide among men: Lessons for practitioners. The report focuses on managing the “heartache” of breakups and “getting back on the horse:”

In the U.S., a comprehensive study of all individuals who died by suicide between 2003 and 2020 found that among men, one in five suicides occurred in the context of intimate partner problems including breakups, separation, and divorce. Similar numbers have been documented in Australia and the United Kingdom.

Photo by Noah Clark on Unsplash

At the time, I was astonished AIMB did not ask the following, seemingly obvious questions since every equal parenting advocate, activist and organization I know of frequently cites high suicide as a byproduct of unequal post-separation parenting schedules:

How many of these dads had some, none, equal or primary time with their kids?

How did suicide rates change over that very large time period — and what are those rates in the ensuing years?

After all, divorce norms have improved dramatically in just the past two years, rising the question of whether the 50/50 parenting movement is even needed any more as the practice is so mainstream. Citing old data on divorce trends is not helpful. AIBM’s report mentions a literature review of the divorce-male-suicide connection from 1966 to 2008 — a million years ago in today’s culture.

For my part, my 2024 book The 50/50 Solution included this passage, with the index citing studies from alllll the way back in 2000 and 2003:

While men’s suicide rate overall is four times that of women’s, rates for divorced men are twice that of married men (while there is no difference in suicide rates between married and divorced women). In fact, divorced men die by suicide at a rate eight times that of divorced women, according to one 2003 study in which researchers called out sexist custody practices as a possible explanation. While divorce laws have changed for the better since that study, men’s suicide rates still far exceed women’s. Overall, a lack of contact or meaningful relationships between fathers and their children is closely tied to men’s well-being and that of their children, both boys and girls.

All of this is to say:

The 2025 Danish study dramatically shows us us that assumptions that parents kill themselves at higher rates because they have less time with their children is not necessarily so — even if it serves the organizations that raise money and get attention for saying so very loudly.

If time with children and suicide were correlated, then working moms would be more suicidal than stay-at-home moms and parents of children attending boarding school would be at higher risk for deaths of despair than their counterparts.

Data from this Danish report is an opportunity to understand and serve the men and their families who struggle after a separation. It is critical to note that the study found that single dads are more likely than single moms to live alone (27.1% vs. 6.9%), are less likely to be repartnered, and dads are more likely to be widowed than moms. We know marriage is correlated with wellbeing, but also that second and third marriages have higher divorce rates — especially when children are in the mix.

It is also relevant that gay men have the lowest divorce rates than any couple type (vs lesbian, straight) — suggesting that men especially thrive in marriage, and when a marriage ends, they simply take it harder.

Going forward, I hope my boy/men advocate colleagues and academics can study and understand:

• Why are men less likely to partner after a separation than women?

• Why are men so alone and what can be done about it?

• How can we address the gendered addiction crisis?

• How can we focus on facts and not weak or fake data and assumptions to serve men and their families?

Would birth rates improve if divorce were fairer to men?

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1. The study defines these roles as parents who have legal residency. Denmark allows only one parent to claim residency, even though in practice more than 40% of separated families share parenting time equally.