This resonates. I’m a man I would have loved to work with children, but it’s just too risky. Instead, I’ve been volunteering on projects with children for 20 years now. I’m never alone with a child in a private place, and I never do personal care - I have been asked to do both, but I always refuse.
Hi Mohan - will check out that book now! Thanks for your comment and I am so glad you found ways to work with kids even under the absurd oversight. What suggestions do you have for recruiting and retaining more male educators?
You might also find the introduction (p. 1-3) of this paper interesting:
Shpancer, N., Fannin, J., Rush, J. L., Rosneck, K., Montgomery, M., Hove, W., & Venkataraman, M. (2019). Male caregivers in child daycare: why so few? Early Child Development and Care, 193(7), 855–868. https://doi.org/10.1080/03004430.2019.1651307
That’s a good question. I think the biggest thing would be to set things up so that men can work with children and never be in a position to do anything inappropriate. That’s tied up with the two things I mentioned – never being alone with a child in a personal place, and never doing personal care. Having those things in place means you are safe from false allegations. (Even if you’re never in a position to harm a child, you still end up facing an enormous amount of suspicion, but that’s just the way the world is.)
It also helps to have very clear guidelines on what you can or cannot do. For example, I find it very difficult when small children want to sit on me - if there is a clear rule, you can explain that and then you don’t risk hurting their feelings.
Finally, I’ve spoken to my county safeguarding team and some of the things I’ve seen classed as “safeguarding” horrify them. in particular, I’ve been in nurseries where I’ve been told not to pick up babies when they are crying, because child protection rules mean you need to minimise physical contact. When present, that rule applies to both men and women, but women can get away with breaking it. I’ve found it deeply deeply upsetting to watch a desperately homesick baby cry and not be able to take care of them… I have left settings over this.
Very good news from CA. I live there myself and wonder if anyone is interested in discussing this (perhaps organize a Zoom meeting?) further. The mention about getting more men to volunteer is a good one.
-- California Volunteers, which is tasked with engaging Californians in service, volunteering, and civic action and operates the largest service force in the nation, in addition to facilitating volunteer and civic engagement opportunities across the state. --
We also of course need more female support for all of this in terms of organizing, raising awareness and fundraising for existing non-profits serving fathers, boys and men - all to support more men in non-traditional fields. I have a background in government and nonprofit work, would love to hear if anyone is interested in pursuing any type of action plan to further this. Thanks much!
The last section is so important. Saying children need more involved dads isn’t the same as saying they need less involved moms. Children need both, but there is a clear lack of positive make role models in a lot of child’s loves.
Could not agree more! We need to be comfortable with the fact that the sexes and genders are different and bring special qualities to the world — and child-rearing.
Thanks for the post. The reason for the unemployment and underemployment of young male college grads is sex discrimination against men, which is very common and widespread. Personally I have received 4 employment settlements for sex discrimination against men, which the feminists in Human Resources never tried to hide.
The question is, will there be just as much sex discrimination against men in education, as there is in other fields?
Male teachers have to be careful of false accusations of child abuse and child sexual abuse, which is likely discouraging them from entering that field,
I love this post, Emma! Thanks for introducing yourself! I’m looking forward to connecting.
This resonates. I’m a man I would have loved to work with children, but it’s just too risky. Instead, I’ve been volunteering on projects with children for 20 years now. I’m never alone with a child in a private place, and I never do personal care - I have been asked to do both, but I always refuse.
I recommend the book Men in Early Years Settings: Building a Mixed Gender Workforce (https://share.google/BxcgXNCTkFMJQ7KPS ).
Ordered it!
Hi Mohan - will check out that book now! Thanks for your comment and I am so glad you found ways to work with kids even under the absurd oversight. What suggestions do you have for recruiting and retaining more male educators?
You might also find the introduction (p. 1-3) of this paper interesting:
Shpancer, N., Fannin, J., Rush, J. L., Rosneck, K., Montgomery, M., Hove, W., & Venkataraman, M. (2019). Male caregivers in child daycare: why so few? Early Child Development and Care, 193(7), 855–868. https://doi.org/10.1080/03004430.2019.1651307
Thank you will read!!
That’s a good question. I think the biggest thing would be to set things up so that men can work with children and never be in a position to do anything inappropriate. That’s tied up with the two things I mentioned – never being alone with a child in a personal place, and never doing personal care. Having those things in place means you are safe from false allegations. (Even if you’re never in a position to harm a child, you still end up facing an enormous amount of suspicion, but that’s just the way the world is.)
It also helps to have very clear guidelines on what you can or cannot do. For example, I find it very difficult when small children want to sit on me - if there is a clear rule, you can explain that and then you don’t risk hurting their feelings.
Finally, I’ve spoken to my county safeguarding team and some of the things I’ve seen classed as “safeguarding” horrify them. in particular, I’ve been in nurseries where I’ve been told not to pick up babies when they are crying, because child protection rules mean you need to minimise physical contact. When present, that rule applies to both men and women, but women can get away with breaking it. I’ve found it deeply deeply upsetting to watch a desperately homesick baby cry and not be able to take care of them… I have left settings over this.
Mohan thank you for all this feedback, super-helpful and insightful. Can you share where you are located?
https://www.gov.ca.gov/2025/07/30/governor-newsom-issues-executive-order-to-support-young-men-and-boys-address-suicide-rates/
Very good news from CA. I live there myself and wonder if anyone is interested in discussing this (perhaps organize a Zoom meeting?) further. The mention about getting more men to volunteer is a good one.
-- California Volunteers, which is tasked with engaging Californians in service, volunteering, and civic action and operates the largest service force in the nation, in addition to facilitating volunteer and civic engagement opportunities across the state. --
We also of course need more female support for all of this in terms of organizing, raising awareness and fundraising for existing non-profits serving fathers, boys and men - all to support more men in non-traditional fields. I have a background in government and nonprofit work, would love to hear if anyone is interested in pursuing any type of action plan to further this. Thanks much!
The last section is so important. Saying children need more involved dads isn’t the same as saying they need less involved moms. Children need both, but there is a clear lack of positive make role models in a lot of child’s loves.
Could not agree more! We need to be comfortable with the fact that the sexes and genders are different and bring special qualities to the world — and child-rearing.
Awesome, thank you!
I love this article so much.
Thanks for the post. The reason for the unemployment and underemployment of young male college grads is sex discrimination against men, which is very common and widespread. Personally I have received 4 employment settlements for sex discrimination against men, which the feminists in Human Resources never tried to hide.
The question is, will there be just as much sex discrimination against men in education, as there is in other fields?
Male teachers have to be careful of false accusations of child abuse and child sexual abuse, which is likely discouraging them from entering that field,