Schools Phone Fathers First, change the world
Educators are quietly improving education outcomes and gender gaps with this free simple move
Schools as agents of change.
That is the working theory of Dads at School, our new organization devoted to improving child outcomes and closing gender gaps by increasing K12 father engagement.
Dads at School joins other programs that for decades have aimed to increase father-school involvement. Efforts include monthly dad meetings, classroom volunteer schedules, father security patrols and even foam fingers. We aim to entice schools with year-round support and $1,000 father engagement grants [application for the 2026-27 cohort still open!].
The most powerful school improvement initiative that I’ve found comes from the inside, and is free and very simple:
Schools call dads before moms.
Whether to invite parents to back-to-school night, report a sick kid, missed homework, tardiness or acting up, these school administrators and teachers don’t lazily default to calling the mom or the first adult listed on the emergency contact list.
They intentionally phone fathers first.
Phone Fathers First.
That call tells fathers:
Your input matters.
You matter.
We trust you.
You are a capable parent.
You’re equally important as the mom.
You’ve got this.
One Central Virginia principal told me that with rare exception, the dads are pleasantly surprised. “Once in a while a dad will say, ‘My wife handles this sort of thing,’ but most jump in and address the issue at hand,” he told me.
Educators who phone fathers first believe this simple communication activates dads to step into their potential as education partners. The calls also activate men to be more confident parents at home.
Deborah Higdon, a longtime educator in Montgomery County, Maryland, told me she grew up in a loving home with a close relationship with both her parents — including a special bond with her dad and his circle of male friends.
Once she became an educator it was natural for Higdon to intentionally and routinely call fathers.
“I didn’t know you weren’t supposed to do that, so I called dads all the time,” she told me.
Higdon called dads to tell them she needed them to attend parent-teacher conferences. She called dads to tell them their kid was doing great at school. She called dads to tell them their kid was failing school. She called dads to tell them they were needed to chaperone field trips, pick up a child with a fever or address behavior issues.
The moms were not ignored. Mothers were also called.
But the dads were called first, and they were called intentionally.
Higdon, whose account is detailed in The Dad Difference: How and Why to Invite Fathers Into Your School (ASCD, 2026), joins other educators I’ve meet who sense that this simple act of engagement makes a big difference in children’s educational outcomes — and school culture as a result.
Higdon did document the impact of her father engagement efforts. While an administrator at a 1,300-student middle school plagued with discipline and academic issues, Higdon was responsible for one of the four quadrants of the school. Armed with her confidence in the positive power of father engagement, Higdon and her team phoned 100% of the fathers of all 300 children in her charge and invited them to parent-teacher conferences.
Despite her colleagues’ skepticism, each and every student had a father figure attend the conferences. Discipline issues schoolwide dropped 70% and academic performance increased. Cynicism amongst her colleagues dissipated and father engagement became a schoolwide priority.
Learnings from family engagement expertise
If you work in education in any capacity in 2026, these results should not be surprising.
Family engagement is one of the hottest topics in education today. Scores of studies find time and again that when school staff meaningfully connect with parents, education outcomes improve.
Karen Mapp, Harvard Graduate School of Education professor is author of the U.S. Department of Education’s Dual Capacity-Building Framework for Family-School Partnerships, which was developed in response to decades of research showing that students’ academics, attendance and behavior improve when parents are meaningfully engaged in their education.
These changes happen not just because parents show up to volunteer occasionally or sit on the PTA — even though those can be meaningful activities. Family engagement experts report the biggest impact when teachers and administrators call or visit families at their homes, invite them to participate in decisions affecting their student and, eventually, partake in crafting policies that affect the whole school community.
Schools, charged with documenting family engagement, increasingly understand that the term “family” connotes “moms.”
Intentionally targeting father engagement doubles the numbers of potential family members building partnership with schools.
Mapp is often quoted saying: “Family Engagement is a full, equal, and equitable partnership among families, educators, and community partners.”
Phone Fathers First is a practical extension of the family engagement movement — bringing new emphasis to equal and equitable, as PFF highlights equality between moms and dads.
Relevant aside: the call alone can change student outcomes, even if a parent never steps foot in the school. A family engagement manager for a large Central Virginia district told me the school curbed truancy among its Spanish speaking students after bilingual staff phoned those kids’ parents, introduced themselves, asked what they needed for their student to be successful. Parent-school engagement remained low but absenteeism among this population dropped to zero, my friend told me.
Contact form reform
While Phone Fathers First can meaningfully change the DNA of a school, some steps are helpful in accelerating the effort:
Before the start of the school year, audit all enrollment forms.
For contact information, require information for “Dad” and “Mom” (in that alphabetical order). Both these fields should be present and labeled as “Parent Contacts” — neither as an “Emergency Contact.”
Trust that caregivers understand that sometimes other adults must be substituted in the dad/mom fields — grandparents, aunts, uncles, step-parents, babysitters. Don’t try to twist the language to accommodate every family. Stick to “dad” and “mom.”When schools and/or PTAs solicit family volunteer info, give forms to both moms and dads and require both parents fill out forms.
Ask about parent availability — but also interests. Does the dad or mom have special skills or interests they can bring to the school? What can the school do to make that project happen?
Enthusiasm is a precious commodity that should not be squandered! Capture it!
Better yet — schools or parent organizations specifically growing their father engagement should send out a survey specifically to dads and ask:
What is your biggest concern for your child?
What are your goals for your child?
Do you feel welcome in the school? Explain your experience.
What time of day is best for a teacher meeting? Zoom or in-person?
What skills or talents would you like to share with the school community?
Please share any projects or ideas you’d like to see at the school.
What school rules or policies would you like to change, and why?
As the head of Dads at School — and a longtime gender equality advocate — my goal is to put myself out of business. A mark of this success is making father engagement normal, boring and self-sustaining.
A solid first step is getting the word out.
School leaders can change the world by picking up the phone and dialing a dad’s number.
Implement Phone Fathers First as a schoolwide and even district-wide policy.
Academics, give me a call so we can track and evaluate this effort.
Comment or write and share your thoughts and experience: emma@dadsatschool.org
“I didn’t know you weren’t supposed to do that, so I called dads all the time" 🤣🤣🤣