Best Interest: 4.11.25
1-pager on 50/50 and family violence, U.S. and global equal parenting laws news, celebs and 50/50, more IPV research from Spain, more!
Hello!
In this issue:
1-pager on 50/50 parenting and family violence
Big issues with “fatherless” stats — and what to do about it
Men and abortions in the media
U.S. equal parenting laws
Equal parenting around the world
Research news
Conferences of note [April 23: National Parents Org’s 50-State Report. I’m opening!]
What I’ve been writing:
“Equal parenting is fine — unless there is abuse.”
That is what I hear nearly time I mention this advocacy work aimed at making equal parenting the norm.
Translation: Men are presumed abusive until proven innocent.
Facts: Equal parenting presumptions lowers conflict, disincentivizes false allegations and lowers rates of intimate partner violence and child abuse.
This post is an overview on studies and stats on intimate partner violence, child abuse and female homicide rates as they relate to equal parenting laws and norms.
I also created a 1-page PDF you can use for free in your activism.
Everyone gets "fatherlessness" wrong
Kids who live apart from their dads have fathers. Spinning the numbers hurts all families.
This post on how everyone on all sides of this movement misquote fatherless figures, why they do it, and why it is harmful. We all need to check our biases.
The Sound of Your Voice is a 27-minute short film by my long-time partner Mitch Fields. I’m posting it here not just because I love him, or because it is beautiful, but it is relevant to our work. The Sound of Your Voice is a film about unplanned pregnancy and the loss of fatherhood.
Equal parenting and celebs
Woman has child with a Nigerian celebrity, pleads for him to share parenting responsibilities 50/50 with no agenda. He refuses.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta estranged husband Ralph Pittman has one goal in his divorce from Drew Sidora: "to make sure I have at least minimum 50/50 custody" of their kids, Machai and Aniya.
Despite past controversies, singer Blac Chyna now describes her relationships with both exes as “splendid,” confirming in she maintains a balanced 50/50 custody arrangement for her kids with their two famous fathers.
Grey’s Anatomy star Jesse Williams and his ex-wife were ordered 50/50 time-sharing (even of the rest of the details are messy).
A mom fought her ex to take 50% parenting time, keeps fighting for him to do is share.
"I worked from home, but I also scheduled the appointments, attended the meetings, usually solo, and connected with fellow parents on playdates, and so on. My ex always pushed for less responsibility, and the more I pushed back, the deeper the divide got. It ate away at trust." Parents magazine
U.S. Equal Parenting Law
Advocates in Tennessee fought the good fight with their equal parenting House Bill 1131, which ultimately failed this week despite bipartisan sponsorship.
Similarly, Pennsylvania failed to get out of the house with a close 99 / 103 vote. This bill was fully sponsored by democrats and made its way out of the briar patch of the judiciary committee. Typically democrats, judges and lawyers oppose equal parenting, so I consider this a big advancement of what is and will be a bipartisan cause.
A new ruling from the Arizona Supreme Court secures and clarifies the rights of unmarried fathers in the state. Writes Richard Reeves: “There are still questions over who gets to determine whether a man is a potential father or not; that remains entirely in the power of the mother.”
EQUAL PARENTING RESEARCH NEWS
These papers related to custody, gender and child development crossed my desk in recent weeks.
If you have research you want to disseminate to the larger community, reach out.
Bargaining under Threats: The Effect of Joint Custody Laws on Intimate Partner Violence
“Bargaining under Threats: The Effect of Joint Custody Laws on Intimate Partner Violence,” Daniel Fernández-Kranz, Natalia Nollenberger, Jennifer Louise Roff. American Journal of Health Economics, May 2024
Researchers in Spain5 studied that country’s outcomes after equal parenting presumption laws were passed in 2009, after which the rate at which parents shared time 50/50 after divorce went up 400%, but rates of intimate partner violence in those regions declined significantly during that same period when compared with the other 13 regions of Spain where mostly mothers gained primary parenting time:
50% decrease in physical abuse
69% decrease in psychological abuse
Female homicides during marriage also decreased significantly in Spanish states with 50/50 parenting.
This is important and I hope gets lots of traction in light of the surge of interest in issue related to men and boys:
“Impact of Relationship Breakdown, Including Abuse and Negotiation of Co-Parenting Arrangements, on Fathers’ Mental Health, Help-Seeking, and Coping.” Hine, B., Roy, E. M., Huang, C.-Y., & Bates, E. Social Sciences (2025) 14(4), 232.
A survey in the U.K. found that single moms felt unsupported in the workforce. Doing it alone, the moms told researchers, they needed more career flexibility. Evidence industry needs to do more to support amicable, equal co-parenting. Anyone have ideas?
Maternal gatekeeping declined when the fathers take an extended break from work after the birth of their child.
When New Fathers Take More Leave, Does Maternal Gatekeeping Decline? Donithen, R., Schoppe-Sullivan, S., Berrigan, M. et al. Sex Roles 91, 15 (2025).
Poor relationships with mothers and fathers predicted similar suicide rates. Dads and moms are equally important.
The impact of paternity-maternity matching on suicide risk among college students. Zhan, Y., Jing, W. BMC Psychiatry 25, 296 (2025).
EQUAL PARENTING AROUND THE WORLD
Bulgaria
Bulgaria introduces an equal parenting presumption bill. Called a “dangerous experiment.”
Scotland
Shared Parenting Scotland has published a revised and updated version of its guide – Representing Yourself in Scottish Family Court — intended for party litigants in child contact and residence cases.
Canada
PEI Court of Appeal upholds shared parenting order in a case involving family violence. The motions judge found the father's evidence unreliable, citing evasive and argumentative behaviour. The mother's evidence was similarly discredited due to hyperbole, speculation, and a tendency to deliver narrative-driven accounts. The judge noted that both parties exhibited a lack of credibility and reliability.
UN
A miracle from the historically misandrist UN Women: “To achieve equal opportunities in life and work, care responsibilities must be shared fairly between women and men.”
CONFERENCES OF INTEREST
National Parents Organization
50 State Report Card
I’m speaking!
April 23, 2025
D.C. and Virtual
FREE
International Conference on Shared Parenting
Lisbon, Portugal
Dec. 3-6 2025
Call for papers!
Men & Families (International Families Alliance)
I’m speaking!
Barbados
Sept. 9-10, 2025
Those are very interesting and somewhat alarming statistics on 50/50 and IPV. The data clearly shows that, with the presumption of 50/50, IPV decreases significantly. For some reason this doesn't feel right. Perhaps its bias. I'm a woman, after all. I try to check my biases but they are undoubtedly there. To play devil's advocate, I ask this...when do women, then, get the presumption of safety? Or must mothers trade parenting time for that? I'm not saying 50/50 isn't best. Perhaps it is. I believe what's best is what the child is used to at home already. Who is the primary caretaker? Why not keep change during such a tumultuous time at a minimum? My ex and I were 50/50 for 5 years on paper. In reality, I kept the OFW schedule updated and accurate, I took off work when kiddo was sick, I did the doctor appointments and school functions, went shopping for back-to-school...you know, the typical things society expects of mothers, whether single or married. In my experience, 50/50 time did NOT equal 50/50 division of labor or responsibility. So I worked harder for my 50%...not unlike making 80 cents on the dollar, which I also find unfair and unequal. Question: what efforts are being taken to assure that presumption of 50/50 doesn't take advantage of women in this way? Especially given the systemically patriarchal family court landscape? Most judges and officers of the court have no training in domestic abuse or IPV. How should we expect them to be familiar with and aware of these assumed roles and help equalize them? They will need to. It's these millions of little details and tasks that can beat a single parent down at the end of the day, exhausting them of time, energy and resources far exceeding that offered by their co-parent. But refuse to do them in the attempt to force increased parenting responsibility on the co-parent and risk being labeled as "difficult" in family court...which risks everything. Absolutely everything. Which is why women will continue to be somewhat disadvantaged by the presumption of 50/50.